Henry David Thoreau once said “The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation.” He was probably talking about my friend Ben.

Ben is a stand up guy, a real gentleman. One of those guys you’d want as a brother or a brother-in-law. But Ben is in a relationship with Emma and he loves her, he really does. As a matter of fact, Ben loves Emma so much, that he doesn’t even tell her how bored he is with their sex life.

Because Ben might be a gentleman and really nice guy but he’s also a little energizer bunny in the sack. I’ve known him years before he got with Emma and that man has taught me a few things about the male and female anatomy as well as the laws of physics and angles in the bedroom.

But since getting with Emma, he has been a shell of himself. Sex has taken a back seat as Emma is apparently “not into that” and kind of “hates doing this.” She loves cuddles and clean sheets and without knowing, I’ll assume she’s into unicorns and stardust as well.

Oral used to be a starter for Ben, now it’s on the chef specials. Ben locks himself in the toilet at nights after Emma is fast asleep and opens windows on his laptop to let his suppressed sexuality breathe.

And I know what you are thinking. Ben should break up with Emma. They’re not compatible in bed. But it’s not that simple. Emma is an amazing woman. He sees her as the future mother of his children, his wife, his life-partner.

So what does he do? What should he do?

The truth is Ben will marry Emma. He’ll let her believe that just because he orgasms, he’s actually enjoying it. He’ll love her like nobody ever has. He’ll, like so many other men out there, sacrifice a part of himself in the name of love. An unsung hero masturbating in the depths of the night.