There’s a difference between loving someone and loving the way they make you feel.

And it’s easy to be confused, it’s easy to get it mixed up. Because, the dopamine, that natural high you get from someone that uplifts your sense of worth is second to none. Compliments, good sex, feeling careless, accepted and safe are some of the sneaky feelings that can trick you into believing you love someone. And I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with all of the above, but there’s nothing wrong with margarine either. Just don’t call it butter.

Loving someone consists of thinking about them in isolation.

Forget the impact they have in your life and consider the following. Do you look up to them? Do you get the urge to ask them about what they do at work? And I’m not talking about the casual “How was work?” I’m talking about drilling down to the specifics. What motivates them getting up in the morning? Is that their dream or are they settling for something less? Do you push them outside their comfort zone or are you afraid of getting “dirty”, afraid of ruining the peace of the relationship? Get them to join the gym, eat healthier, take that photography course they always talk about, remind them to talk to their mother more often or start writing that novel they wanted to write from a young age.

Are you helping them reach their full potential as people, or is their current state making you feel comfortable enough that you don’t want to mess with it?

Have a little think about that.